And for all you right wing/conservative/blatent racist nutjobs out there - Cowlitz County offers one of the finest publications that will definitely invoke the seed of hatred upon your already black heart, The Daily News. But, there's also comedy! The Daily Police Blotter is, to say the least, a hoot! Aside from the regular drug (specifically Meth) arrest, which occur daily, there is also a plethera of silly antics that perpentuate the community pretty well. Here I have compiled a collection of my favorite inserts of the Blotter over the course of the summer thus far.
Somewhere I feel I should throw in a disclosure stating something about not wanting to offend anyone, and not wishing to stomp on the few local reader(s) I might have. But, nah. If by now you haven't learned of the hypocrasy and ridiculisness of The Daily News, or the embarassment Cowlitz County should have as the once cleverly coined, "Deep South of The North" (credit to Christopher Eaves for that one!), then you need to wake up. And besides, this is all in good fun. And honestly, I probably know all these damn people.......
Naked and sparkling
Longview police received a report that three teenage boys were running down Washington Way naked, holding sparklers, at 12:30 a.m. Monday. The boys were gone when police arrived.
Wants dope back
A man went to the Longview police station around 10:20 p.m., "highly agitated," telling dispatchers he wanted the officer who took his marijuana at Lake Sacajawea to give it back.
Meth
Longview police Saturday responded to an apartment in the 1700 block of Baltimore Street for a report of an unknown person in the bathroom and a strange bike in the kitchen. Police arrested Larry Dean Holden, 47, Longview, on suspicion of methamphetamine possession and first-degree criminal trespass. Bail: $10,000.
Attempted arson
Cowlitz County deputies on Thursday night arrested Castle Rock resident Casey Allen Foster, 39, in the 1000 block of DeWeese Loop in Castle Rock for allegedly throwing gasoline on a woman and threatening to light her on fire. Police found Foster hiding in an outbuilding on the property, which he allegedly also threatened to set on fire. Deputies arrested him on suspicion of second-degree assault, first-degree attempted arson and felony harassment. Bail: $30,000.
Stolen quarters
Cowlitz County deputies on Wednesday arrested Daniel Lee Rathbun Jr., 35, on suspicion of residential burglary, second-degree theft and second-degree driving with a suspended license. He is suspected of stealing about $2,000 in rolled quarters from a house in the 100 block of Brownlee Road, Castle Rock. Bail: $20,500.
Threatened with toy
A realistic-looking toy handgun fooled two Kelso residents, who told police they saw a man with the gun Monday at North First Avenue and Burcham Street and heard him yell at an unseen person to stay out of his yard or he would shoot. Police said Pedro Gonzales Flores, 53, Kelso, said he was joking. Police cited him with unlawful display of a weapon and booked him into jail. Bail: $500.
No pants
A woman called Longview police around 7:30 a.m. Tuesday to report a man without pants riding a bicycle on the grounds of Mint Valley Elementary School. He pulled on a pair while she was talking with dispatchers, she said. Police contacted a 38-year-old man who admitted he was the one she saw wearing a purple thong. He told police he had been getting grass off his pants.
Funny money
An employee of the Kelso McDonald's on Friday gave police two bogus bills that had been caught with a counterfeit-detecting pen. A well-made counterfeit $10 had been presented Friday by a man from Turner, Ore., who claimed he got it from a convenience store. A badly made fake $20 with the back printed upside-down was collected a week earlier in an unrelated incident.
Bad sheep
Longview police rounded up five runaway sheep who broke out of a fenced back yard on 30th Avenue Saturday afternoon and trotted toward Lake Sacajawea. A witness said he saw a man wrestling with a sheep on 30th Avenue, then followed the others as he kept dispatchers updated. The Humane Society collected the flock.
Incendiary devices
Cowlitz County sheriff's deputies Thursday arrested Adam David Roy Larimore, 28, Silver Lake, after receiving a report that he threatened to use "gas bombs" to burn down a home. Deputies said Larimore filled glass bottles with gasoline and he had to be Tased before he complied with law enforcement. He was booked on suspicion of possession of incendiary devices, use of drug paraphernalia and obstructing an officer. He posted $5,000 bail.
Mail found
A man found mail lying in the back of his truck Tuesday and said he has no idea how it got there. The mail came from addresses all over Columbia Heights. Sheriff's deputies retrieved the mail.
Mail in yard
A resident in the 100 block of Westover Drive, Longview, called the Cowlitz County Sheriff's Office Monday to report finding mail in the yard belonging to residents of five addresses on View Point Drive.
Cat fight
Kelso police early Saturday morning responded to a report of a man throwing a cat at a woman and arrested a 27-yearold Kelso man in the 1000 block of Cowlitz Way on suspicion of third-degree malicious mischief. The victim said Lee told her his cat was worth $700 and she was worthless. He then allegedly ripped the side mirror of her 1993 Geo Prism, saying he would trade the mirror for the cat. He posted $500 bail.
Man in bushes
Kelso police looked for, but didn't find, a man with a soccer ball who allegedly emerged from bushes near the playground at Barnes Elementary School Tuesday afternoon and followed three middle-school-age girls down the street. A man in a nearby driveway told police he didn't see anything.
Impersonation
Kelso police Saturday arrested a 16-year-old Kelso girl on suspicion of felony criminal impersonation. Police said the girl pretended to be her sister to avoid being arrested on a warrant, not realizing her sister had a warrant, too.
More complaints
Kelso and Longview police took more complaints Thursday about overly aggressive door-to-door salespeople. One man said the salespeople charged $36 a quart for the cleaning product.
Excessive noise
Longview police asked the owner of Kesler's Restaurant to turn down the music after an officer verified a citizen's complaint that the noise was too loud at 1:30 a.m. Thursday. The caller said this is a continuing problem.
On the nod
Kelso police Monday responded to Rite Aid for a report of a man who fell out of his vehicle and lost consciousness in the parking lot 10 minutes after buying needles. Police said the vehicle contained a spoon with melted heroin, and that Thomas Chandler Miller, 20, Kelso, appeared to be incoherent and nodding off from the effects of heroin use. He was booked on suspicion of heroin possession. Bail: $30,000.
That's a slappin'
An elderly man reportedly slapped a Kelso Safeway bakery employee on the arm Thursday afternoon because the store was out of hot French bread. The employee did not wish to press charges.
Not funny
A Woodland man called 911 shortly after midnight Thursday to report someone called him from a blocked number and said there was blood all over his apartment and a body to get rid of. Verizon and AT&T traced the call to a man in Gresham, Ore., who told the dispatcher he'd made the call as a prank. He was warned not to do it again.
Late riser
A woman informed Kelso police around 11:45 a.m. Sunday that a young male dressed all in black was walking down the middle of South Fourth Avenue stopping vehicles and asking for money for aluminum foil. He told her he wanted "to do a wake and bake" (smoke pot shortly after waking), she told police. He was gone when police arrived.
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